Skip to main content

If my Prayers Drew Blood





I have been looking through an old journal (2007) and have felt convicted to live out more of my past persuasion, and to not become complacent nor stagnant. Here is a note that I wrote about [imagination and] prayer, which I need to re-arrange my life to pursue more: "When one has an imagination like mine, it is often best not to to recall certain things, [like news] spoken second-hand. Yet, some thoughts and especially prayers must be suffered through. I wonder what thoughts, what painful knowledge was so burdened on Jesus that while praying, He was caused to bleed. AT TIMES I CHOOSE TO EVEN REFRAIN FROM PRAYING, ONLY TO SAVE MYSELF SOME REALLY INSIGNIFICANT PAIN, AND AT WHAT COST?
If my prayers were so fervent that they actually drew blood then perhaps they would be more effective!
"

Reader’s Favourites

Father's Heart Coffee

Father’s Heart Coffee gives 100% profits to The Father’s Heart Village in El Salvador. With every sip, you empower us to sustainably care for the holistic needs of orphaned children.   Lets us know if YOU want to try our coffee! It is: -Shade grown -High Altitude (Apeneca) -Pacamara -Honey Process -Organic -Dark, Medium or Blonde Roast AND, for every pound of coffee sold, we can purchase 30 blocks for building a future of hope! We can ship coffee to you anywhere in North America! Order via our Canadian Website - donate page (more order options coming soon too!): www.fhfcanada.ca And, don't forget to order your copy of our book! Proceeds help our family to care for fatherless children in El Salvador & Uganda! Amazon Author Page

Citizens of Heaven: reflections on how the lack of speaking and understanding a language make me a foreigner.

I have experienced life as a foreigner in varying degrees over the majority of my life, probably beginning on my first short term missions trip (to Uganda) 22 years ago (yes, 22 years…yikes!). I don’t recall feeling so much a foreigner on that trip, but I was changed, and became a distinct “foreigner” upon my return to Canada. I think it was then that I began to learn how to die to myself and began to desire to live out James 1:27 (in it’s entirety – I yearned to live out true religion by taking care of orphans and widows AND by remaining unpolluted by the secular world) *note: I am far from perfect, and simultaneously began a fight against sin, as once convicted of something, once one knows the good that they should do and they do not do it, they then sin… the struggle against the flesh is real, but with every victory, as sin is put to death and as I choose to live life in the Spirit, I am learning more and more how to live a life separate from the world.     ...

Hope for those in the "depths of despair"

I should be packing for a missions trip right now, but instead I am sitting down with a storied glass of wine and opera music. I am not accustomed to listening to opera, although I think I have enjoyed it most of my life. It can soothe the emotional side of the soul, but can also dangerously feed into certain emotions - I think (dependent on lyrics maybe too). But alas, I am inclined to listen to a few songs right now, before switching to my usual playlist -  as I reflect on recent news of those in my circle of friends who are mourning loss and questioning life, as someone they know has chosen to take their own life.  The decision to take one’s own life has affected my family very personally, as have other choices which inevitably lead to the ending of life. It makes me reflect on my own life, on the subject of depression, and of my own personal experience with depression. I have so many thoughts on this subject and have read numerous books on the topic, my favo...

“Palm Sunday”. Thinking about Worship, “social distancing” & examining ourselves and our Gospel message

Psalm 139:23, 24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” 2 Corinthians 13:5 Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you--unless indeed you fail the test?  Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem by a crowd full of people singing and rejoicing over miracles. When Nicodemus came to Jesus and said that they (the Jewish leaders) knew that He must be from God because of the signs/miracles, Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)  The Jewish people had been waiting for the Messiah, and the entire Old Testament is full of messianic prophesies - on the road to Emmeaus, after His resurrection, Jesus went through the entire scripture to teach that it was all about Himself. The mes...

Intentionality

As I finish up this school year with my littles, (and prepare to continue their lessons throughout the Summer, so that we are ready to begin the school year well), I am reflecting on this past school year, and the many travels and lessons that we have had together.  We began the school year in El Salvador, finished our first term in Canada, completed our second term in Uganda, began our third term in Canada, and are finishing up back in El Salvador. We have learnt and grown in each subject and grade, and as a family, and individually. I especially enjoy the lessons learnt through experience, as we travel, and as we live in different cultures and contexts – but, as much as I love teachable moments, and life lessons, and I love teaching God’s Word and the practical lessons of growing in character, I am otherwise, not a very good teacher, and very easily fall behind –especially in recording our learning (which is required for being Distributed Learner’s through my home province)....

More of life in the village - began writing in the village, and will slowly finish this week

As I sit here to write, I am surrounded by small children –some nephews, a little orphaned girl, and a great-nephew, plus some of my own children coming and going. I came to the church building to write, because the internet reception is better, the heat is not as intense, and I thought I would be alone – if I could speak the language I might ask them to leave for a little while, but I think that choosing love, and bearing the noise of all the “emotokars” (cars made of pieces of wood –that don’t resemble cars, but with an imagination and some good sound effects, they become perfect cars!)…in the time that it took to write that, they realized that I wasn’t looking at pictures or doing anything interesting, so they took their cars outside –but left a baby behind to play on the dirt floor. Actually, the floor is not dirt, it is made of cow dung. Here is Benjamin’s description of the [making of the] cow-dung floor: “I watched one of my cousins make a cow-poop-floor. First, they coll...

Reflections on Rwanda from 2004

A City on A Hill Written by Charity Pilkey, January 2004, after visiting Rwanda ( the land of a thousand hills ) Teardrops falling on a thousand hills Somehow invisible Footprints marching on a thousand hills Somehow silent Bloodstains rolling on a thousand hills Somehow transparent Echoes crying on a thousand hills Somehow muffled Tears that fell, now fall from mourners Survivors march to make new prints Blood now dried, remains a vivid reminder New cries resound on a thousand hills So, if you are remaining Keep walking and learning Keep striving and yearning For His light to shine brilliantly From this land of a thousand hills.

Which Thief Will We Be Like? And How Will We Celebrate This Pivotal Christian Weekend?

I have been reading through the Gospels and seeing how Jesus proclaimed Himself to be God and proved it through His miracles and teaching. How He rebuked the man-centred religious system, and pointed to Himself throughout the scriptures (during His ministry and again after the resurrection) - He quoted the Old Testament, and spoke clearly of His coming death and resurrection, yet, even the 12 disciples didn’t understand until after the resurrection, what He had meant. BUT, one of the men who hung for their crimes, on a cross at Jesus’ side DID understand! He knew that Jesus was innocent and was not dying for His own sins, he knew and recognized his own guilt and sin deserving of death, AND he even recognized that Jesus was not going to remain dead, but would come into His Kingdom. He knew that the Kingdom was not of this world, and was not about setting up a throne to demolish the rule of Rome. Jesus came as fully God and fully man, to fulfil the numerous prophesies that fill the ...

Is it dangerous to be a missionary in El Salvador? Our experience and a little history lesson

I noticed that this blog had been looked at a lot lately, and hadn’t realized that when I last changed my blog layout, it had affected the style and flow of this post. I think I have fixed it now...though this could be edited a lot more!  This is not exhaustive on the topics of travel, safety, gang violence, or missions in El Salvador, but is part of our story, and some of the history of the country that we serve in. El Salvador was voted as one of the top ten countries to visit, by Lonely Planet in 2010 and 2016. Is El Salvador safe for tourists? My short answer is, " Yes . It is (relatively) safe". It is generally safer than being a tourist in Mexico, and people travel there all the time . Tourists are (generally) not a target. As is the case even in LA, or even downtown Vancouver, there are certain places where you should not go, especially at night, but there are lots of places where you can explore, hike, walk, shop, eat, surf, zip-line, etc. and...

What do so-called “False Teachers” teach, and how can we know it is false?

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:1-5 I feel compelled by a biblical mandate, to say something about a huge burden that I have had for several year now, and that has been growing - to warn people about false teaching! Anytime a doctrine or teaching or movement is presented as biblical truth to the church in general, every individual Christian, and leaders in particular, are to rightly judged such teachings ...