Reflecting on Child Soldiers and IDPs in Soroti, 2004: Journal Entry and Poem

Child Soldier

(Reflecting again on meeting child soldiers in Soroti, Uganda in 2004)

Although I didn't know it at the time, I met my husband - and even interviewed him- in Soroti Town in 2004. That visit will forever be etched on my memory.

We have just published the second edition to Samuel's story now. Having freshly re-read and edited every page, I have again re-lived his story as if it is my own (which is probably why I have been feeling so exhausted lately!). Imagining life as an Internally Displaced Person (IDP), living on a battlefield and surviving in the jungles, is one thing; remembering the child soldiers and child wives that we met is another.

The picture on the right, and the one below, are of IDPs in Soroti. They have beautiful smiles, and while they were completely displaced and spread out throughout the city, seeking safety from Kony's army that rampaged villages in the district, they were still "innocent".

The children that we met, with Pastor Joseph, were not IDPs; they were escaped child soldiers, and "wives".

Here is an excerpt from my journal (which I happen to have in my "Envisioning and Institute Notes", and keep on the shelf beside my computer:

(Tues.-Fri. January 6-9, 2004):

"I have now seen jungle, rocks [volcanic plugs], grass, etc. but no animals yet! [my sister] Adrienne and I travelled to Soroti with Uncle Tom, Uncle Shadrach, and Auntie Johanne. It was an amazing experience. We have heard so much about the IDPs in Soroti and the children who escaped from Kony's army. The emergency for clinics is now over and there is about 3/4 less people sleeping in the streets [yet the streets were still full!]. The camps are now organized and huts have been built.

The air of hopelessness has decreased, though it hasn't ceased.

We toured the clinics and camps and met many people. The children would swarm around us! Some of the young ones were afraid of our white skin :)

We also went to the "Rescued Children's Camp". It was strange to be amongst these children who were made to see and forced to do so many atrocities. The girls were SO young! It is awful to imagine - to KNOW - that they were all abducted to be soldier's wives! They are babies and some of them now have babies growing inside of their small bodies.

And the boys were somehow innocent looking yet they had all seen death and some have been forced to kill even their friends. It amazes me that they can even smile and are not completely dead inside. I can't imagine going through what they have.

And it also amazes me that God has something for them. He is holy and righteous in ALL that He does, and this cannot be excluded! He allowed these children to be so abused and yet He had a plan to save them and to care for them, since before time began.

He knows each name and what each one has experienced and what marvellous things He has for each one in the future...

...[we helped to interview prospective staff for a proposed children's home, where these children would be placed into family, and be introduced to our Father God]."

He STILL knows their names! And, I can imagine, even as my own husband has come through healing through forgiveness, that some are now healthy and enjoying life - and I can also imagine that some still struggle with how to live, and need to know that there IS healing in Christ! This is a great reminder to PRAY!

This is what I wrote, a year later, imagining those boys:

"Their eyes are wide in horror

Eyes that once held love

I hear their cries echoed constantly in my heart

My heart pounds in my chest

I am sweating - it feels like blood, but it doesn’t harden

There is power in my hand

I feel so weak

I feel tortured

I am the torturer

Life and death are in my hands

Their death means my life

I feel dead

I have to live

I hate my oppressors

I hate myself

I will never forgive them

I can never forgive myself

I was somebody’s son

I was somebody's brother

I was somebody's friend

I am somebody's killer"

The book next to that journal on my shelf here, is called, "Children in Crisis" by Phyllis Kilbourn, which teaches a biblical response to the plight of children like these. Even in so much pain, there is HOPE

To order our book, go HERE

Reader’s Favourites

Citizens of Heaven: reflections on how the lack of speaking and understanding a language make me a foreigner.

I have experienced life as a foreigner in varying degrees over the majority of my life, probably beginning on my first short term missions trip (to Uganda) 22 years ago (yes, 22 years…yikes!). I don’t recall feeling so much a foreigner on that trip, but I was changed, and became a distinct “foreigner” upon my return to Canada. I think it was then that I began to learn how to die to myself and began to desire to live out James 1:27 (in it’s entirety – I yearned to live out true religion by taking care of orphans and widows AND by remaining unpolluted by the secular world) *note: I am far from perfect, and simultaneously began a fight against sin, as once convicted of something, once one knows the good that they should do and they do not do it, they then sin… the struggle against the flesh is real, but with every victory, as sin is put to death and as I choose to live life in the Spirit, I am learning more and more how to live a life separate from the world. ...

Contending for the Faith, Discerning Doctrines, and a Scriptural Mandate for Judging Rightly

Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ. (from the book of Jude) I fellowship with, minister with, and would never publicly criticize believers of different denominations, worship styles, and cultures, who believe the biblical Gospel and believe in the biblical Christ; even if they differ on non-foundational doctrines - or are different denominations. We are called to love each other and to be unified as Christ’s body. The purpose of any facebook posts and of this blog was and is to encourage believers to test everything against the Word of God, and to beware of false teaching and false teachers - who do not...

Angels and Demons - waking to an African War Cry in the village

The New testament of the Bible retells several stories of Jesus casting out demons, and also of visitations by angels. The demonic is something that Christians in North America oft stay away from, and I have never written about my own experiences with seeing the power of God triumph over evil, although many have heard me tell at least one story of an encounter with the enemy, and seeing the power of God displayed with the Sword of the Spirit, which IS the Word of God… Now that we have recently returned from Uganda, and we were retelling one story, I have decided to post some of the story here. This is not a theological debate, nor even the complete story (with all of its details), but is my own personal experience with a recent spiritual battle, and some of the truths of God’s Word which I was impressed to read during this battle. It was late one evening, in our village home in Uganda. The children and I had gone to bed early compared to the rest of the family, who normally ...

God’s Sufficient Grace - and my “stroke-like symptoms”

Here is a little update on my health... All of the neurology and rheumatology appointments went well and there was no pathological reason for a stroke, my brain and heart are all normal -praise God! A hair analysis did show heavy metals, and the neurologist said the symptoms were all “migraine-related” (did you know you can have a migraine without a headache?) The advice is to do a heavy-metal detox, take supplements like magnesium and Ubiquinol (among others), to have massage therapy, do stretches, and to rest more. My diagnosis was also changed from Lupus to Fibromyalgia -which have similar symptoms, but which means that there is no risk to organ damage or deterioration (I also have a congenital back problem which adds to the pain and stress on my body). If you missed why I was seeing a Nuerologist in the first place, here is what I wrote in July: I had a mini stroke or TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), on Saturday June 22nd. Below is what I wrote on facebook:...

Let us have grace. Grace for each other’s weaknesses. Grace for suffering and sin and even for the “walking-dead” among us.

I have been thinking about some of these things over the past several months, and now even more with COVID-19... But, the topic came to mind after recently having suffered through 2 early-term (under 6 weeks) miscarriages, both right before hosting missionary teams | my sister’s recent near death and continued struggle to fully recover | and then recently seeing school reports from my little brother who was diagnosed with a meduloblastoma (brain tumour), after struggling in school and needing to be homeschooled (over 20 years ago!) | also thinking of past and present struggles in my own life, family (and extended family), and friends (including experience with PTSD and special needs). 1 Corinthians 10:13 English Standard Version (ESV) “ No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may...

The Father-heart of God: a Definition

Having grown up hearing and learning the meaning of the “Father-heart of God”, I have never thought to sit and write a definition, until now as we prepare for a time of staff training (or envisioning). And as I have recently been told that the term didn’t make grammatical sense to someone -I wondered if it was our (mine and Samuel’s) Canadian, British and Ugandan language background, and similar church and training background that gave as a unique understanding of a term that maybe doesn’t actually makes sense? But when I googled it, mostly American blogs and studies came up - so American English uses the term too …but what does the term mean ? That is what I want to write about here. I am sitting in a coffee shop, thinking about the Father-heart of God, with headphones on. I felt compelled to listen to “How Great Thou Art” as I write and wish I could sing at the top of my voice while sitting here… thinking of all that it has ever meant to me and what it means now, the great truth...

Book Trailer. Living in the Shadow of Death: From a Child of War to an A...

It has been 15 months since our first book launch (November 2017)! After being able to share the story with Samuel’s family - reading it to them in the village, as we sat under the stars, outside of our mud hut with grass-thatched roof - we have decided to edit the title and a few small details, and to print it again. The book is on Amazon and Kindle - and coming to iBooks and bookstores soon! Click here to see our Amazon Author Page

An old lesson from ants - written in 2010

A LESSON FROM ANTS With gazillions of little ants as roommates, I have been learning a lot of lessons. Some are practical lessons, like on Bible Study night I can’t serve coffee cake or banana bread until after the study, because if it is sitting on the table for more than 20 minutes the entire table will be covered with ants! Or making sure that the kitchen is clean before bed, dishes washed and counters wiped with vinegar. Other lessons are lessons on how to keep ants away from certain areas, like: leaving the honey jar in a dish with vinegar water works for keeping them out of the honey, but if the water has no vinegar they will still find a way of reaching the sweet smelling lid, or that chalk drawn around openings in walls or around crib legs deter ants, but on the windowsill a line of chalk is not thick enough and instead pouring baby powder will both deter the ants and make the room smell nice. But the best lessons learned from the ants are see...

If my Prayers Drew Blood

I have been looking through an old journal (2007) and have felt convicted to live out more of my past persuasion, and to not become complacent nor stagnant. Here is a note that I wrote about [imagination and] prayer, which I need to re-arrange my life to pursue more: "When one has an imagination like mine, it is often best not to to recall certain things, [like news] spoken second-hand. Yet, some thoughts and especially prayers must be suffered through. I wonder what thoughts, what painful knowledge was so burdened on Jesus that while praying, He was caused to bleed. AT TIMES I CHOOSE TO EVEN REFRAIN FROM PRAYING, ONLY TO SAVE MYSELF SOME REALLY INSIGNIFICANT PAIN, AND AT WHAT COST? If my prayers were so fervent that they actually drew blood then perhaps they would be more effective! "

Intentionality

As I finish up this school year with my littles, (and prepare to continue their lessons throughout the Summer, so that we are ready to begin the school year well), I am reflecting on this past school year, and the many travels and lessons that we have had together. We began the school year in El Salvador, finished our first term in Canada, completed our second term in Uganda, began our third term in Canada, and are finishing up back in El Salvador. We have learnt and grown in each subject and grade, and as a family, and individually. I especially enjoy the lessons learnt through experience, as we travel, and as we live in different cultures and contexts – but, as much as I love teachable moments, and life lessons, and I love teaching God’s Word and the practical lessons of growing in character, I am otherwise, not a very good teacher, and very easily fall behind –especially in recording our learning (which is required for being Distributed Learner’s through my home province)....

A Call to Discern, Contend for & be Sanctified by Truth

Search This Blog