I have been looking through an old journal (2007) and have felt convicted to live out more of my past persuasion, and to not become complacent nor stagnant. Here is a note that I wrote about [imagination and] prayer, which I need to re-arrange my life to pursue more: "When one has an imagination like mine, it is often best not to to recall certain things, [like news] spoken second-hand. Yet, some thoughts and especially prayers must be suffered through. I wonder what thoughts, what painful knowledge was so burdened on Jesus that while praying, He was caused to bleed. AT TIMES I CHOOSE TO EVEN REFRAIN FROM PRAYING, ONLY TO SAVE MYSELF SOME REALLY INSIGNIFICANT PAIN, AND AT WHAT COST?
If my prayers were so fervent that they actually drew blood then perhaps they would be more effective!"