Skip to main content

If my Prayers Drew Blood





I have been looking through an old journal (2007) and have felt convicted to live out more of my past persuasion, and to not become complacent nor stagnant. Here is a note that I wrote about [imagination and] prayer, which I need to re-arrange my life to pursue more: "When one has an imagination like mine, it is often best not to to recall certain things, [like news] spoken second-hand. Yet, some thoughts and especially prayers must be suffered through. I wonder what thoughts, what painful knowledge was so burdened on Jesus that while praying, He was caused to bleed. AT TIMES I CHOOSE TO EVEN REFRAIN FROM PRAYING, ONLY TO SAVE MYSELF SOME REALLY INSIGNIFICANT PAIN, AND AT WHAT COST?
If my prayers were so fervent that they actually drew blood then perhaps they would be more effective!
"

Reader’s Favourites

Reflecting on Child Soldiers and IDPs in Soroti, 2004: Journal Entry and Poem

Child  Soldier (Reflecting again on meeting child soldiers in Soroti, Uganda in 2004)  Although I didn't know it at the time, I met my husband - and even interviewed him- in Soroti Town in 2004. That visit will forever be etched on my memory. We have just published the second edition to Samuel's story now. Having freshly re-read and edited every page, I have again re-lived his story as if it is my own (which is probably why I have been feeling so exhausted lately!). Imagining life as an Internally Displaced Person (IDP), living on a battlefield and surviving in the jungles, is one thing; remembering the child soldiers and child wives that we met is another. The picture on the right, and the one below, are of IDPs in Soroti. They have beautiful smiles, and while they were completely displaced and spread out throughout the city, seeking safety from Kony's army that rampaged villages in the district, they were still "innocent". The children that we me...

An old lesson from ants - written in 2010

A LESSON FROM ANTS With gazillions of little ants as roommates, I have been learning a lot of lessons. Some are practical lessons, like on Bible Study night I can’t serve coffee cake or banana bread until after the study, because if it is sitting on the table for more than 20 minutes the entire table will be covered with ants! Or making sure that the kitchen is clean before bed, dishes washed and counters wiped with vinegar. Other lessons are lessons on how to keep ants away from certain areas, like: leaving the honey jar in a dish with vinegar water works for keeping them out of the honey, but if the water has no vinegar they will still find a way of reaching the sweet smelling lid, or that chalk drawn around openings in walls or around crib legs deter ants, but on the windowsill a line of chalk is not thick enough and instead pouring baby powder will both deter the ants and make the room smell nice. But the best lessons learned from the ants are see...

Reflections on Rwanda from 2004

A City on A Hill Written by Charity Pilkey, January 2004, after visiting Rwanda ( the land of a thousand hills ) Teardrops falling on a thousand hills Somehow invisible Footprints marching on a thousand hills Somehow silent Bloodstains rolling on a thousand hills Somehow transparent Echoes crying on a thousand hills Somehow muffled Tears that fell, now fall from mourners Survivors march to make new prints Blood now dried, remains a vivid reminder New cries resound on a thousand hills So, if you are remaining Keep walking and learning Keep striving and yearning For His light to shine brilliantly From this land of a thousand hills.

Life in the village, as a parable that points to Christ and to eternity

I have stepped out of the village for one week, and am spending time with my sister and her family in Kampala (with my 4 littles). Samuel is still in the village and working hard to finish a permanent brick house for our extended family there. We began this house 9 years ago, and it has been very slowly taking shape. Unfortunately, not much can be accomplished with any quality, without Samuel overseeing (even now, if he leaves a “professional” builder to work on one portion of the house, while he is on the other side, he can come back and find that no level has been used, and the work needs to be redone).   As I wrotelast time , I could die to certain life comforts, and would gladly count them a loss for Christ, but still struggle with being a foreigner with the language. We haven’t been called to live and minister long term in an African village (at this point in our lives). So, I am enjoying a visit with my sister before spending the next few weeks in the village and the...

Citizens of Heaven: reflections on how the lack of speaking and understanding a language make me a foreigner.

I have experienced life as a foreigner in varying degrees over the majority of my life, probably beginning on my first short term missions trip (to Uganda) 22 years ago (yes, 22 years…yikes!). I don’t recall feeling so much a foreigner on that trip, but I was changed, and became a distinct “foreigner” upon my return to Canada. I think it was then that I began to learn how to die to myself and began to desire to live out James 1:27 (in it’s entirety – I yearned to live out true religion by taking care of orphans and widows AND by remaining unpolluted by the secular world) *note: I am far from perfect, and simultaneously began a fight against sin, as once convicted of something, once one knows the good that they should do and they do not do it, they then sin… the struggle against the flesh is real, but with every victory, as sin is put to death and as I choose to live life in the Spirit, I am learning more and more how to live a life separate from the world.     ...

Walking the path marked out - by Charity Okurut (early 2000's)

No matter what the circumstances, no matter the happenings, know this: He holds you in the palm of His hands and He has wonderful plans for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Along the way, don’t look down so long that you don’t see the road ahead. Don't keep your head up so high that you don’t see the path, and so trip and fall. Don’t look back so long that you forget where you are going, nor keep your eyes fixed so far ahead that you forget where you came from, and what made you who you are today. Memorize the faces of those travelling alongside you. Identify those who need your help and recognize those who need to help you.  And no matter what - never give up! ~ Charity Okurut nee Pilkey

God’s Sufficient Grace - and my “stroke-like symptoms”

Here is a little update on my health... All of the neurology and rheumatology appointments went well and there was no pathological reason for a stroke, my brain and heart are all normal -praise God! A hair analysis did show heavy metals, and the neurologist said the symptoms were all “migraine-related” (did you know you can have a migraine without a headache?) The advice is to do a heavy-metal detox, take supplements like magnesium and Ubiquinol (among others), to have massage therapy, do stretches, and to rest more. My  diagnosis was also changed from Lupus to Fibromyalgia -which have similar symptoms, but which means that there is no risk to organ damage or deterioration (I also have a congenital back problem which adds to the pain and stress on my body). If you missed why I was seeing a Nuerologist in the first place, here is what I wrote in July: I had a mini stroke or TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), on Saturday June 22nd. Below is what I wrote on facebook:...

“Palm Sunday”. Thinking about Worship, “social distancing” & examining ourselves and our Gospel message

Psalm 139:23, 24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.” 2 Corinthians 13:5 Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you--unless indeed you fail the test?  Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem by a crowd full of people singing and rejoicing over miracles. When Nicodemus came to Jesus and said that they (the Jewish leaders) knew that He must be from God because of the signs/miracles, Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)  The Jewish people had been waiting for the Messiah, and the entire Old Testament is full of messianic prophesies - on the road to Emmeaus, after His resurrection, Jesus went through the entire scripture to teach that it was all about Himself. The mes...

Oh Uganda, may God Uphold Thee

(Warning, this is a "political post": but, we believe without a doubt that it is God who sets up and takes down kings, and ultimately they SERVE Him - God IS the KING over all kings and HE is on His Throne. Uganda needs PRAYER, above all. This is not a post against Museveni, but about democracy , and for the people!) Samuel wrote a beautiful post about his country, and the need for peaceful change, that I wanted to share. It is in response to the recent unrest and protests over the proposed Constitutional change, allowing for President Yoweri Museveni to continue as President, even in his old age. He has already changed the Constitution, to allow himself to "serve" as President for more than two terms. He has been in power since he was sworn in, after (during) a war on Obote, as the  new president. Museveni promised a return to democracy at his inauguration on January 29, 1986:  "The people of Africa, the people of Uganda, are entitled to a dem...

Rats - living and even sleeping with rats - a lesson in being thankful!

Rats are one of the most resilient rodents on this globe. They take care of their orphaned young, and they survive on whatever they can find, and in whatever nests they can make – all over the globe. Both of my sisters had had experiences with rats (in Canada and in Uganda), and while I had seen the odd rat at a distance, I had never had to deal with living with them –let-alone sleeping with them! At home in the village there is a small variety of rat (from my limited knowledge of rodents, I would have called them mice). There are several problems with having rats around, but aside from their stealing food, and possibly spreading disease, if not just urinating on personal belongings (such as children’s car seats being stored in a hut!), they attract snakes. So, when we had a tribe of rats, numbering in the hundreds, living close to our hut, and after having one of them drown in our drinking water (inside our hut – such a horrible sound to wake up to!), we destroyed their ma...