Skip to main content

God’s Sufficient Grace - and my “stroke-like symptoms”

Here is a little update on my health...
All of the neurology and rheumatology appointments went well and there was no pathological reason for a stroke, my brain and heart are all normal -praise God! A hair analysis did show heavy metals, and the neurologist said the symptoms were all “migraine-related” (did you know you can have a migraine without a headache?) The advice is to do a heavy-metal detox, take supplements like magnesium and Ubiquinol (among others), to have massage therapy, do stretches, and to rest more. My diagnosis was also changed from Lupus to Fibromyalgia-which have similar symptoms, but which means that there is no risk to organ damage or deterioration (I also have a congenital back problem which adds to the pain and stress on my body).

If you missed why I was seeing a Nuerologist in the first place, here is what I wrote in July:
I had a mini stroke or TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack), on Saturday June 22nd. Below is what I wrote on facebook: 

So, I was getting ready to go out yesterday, pushing through how I was feeling (like jet-leg), when my husband stood behind me and noticed my face in the mirror. The left side of my face wasn’t moving the same as the right. He asked my mom to bring me to the ER while he brought kids for their field trip... after a CT scan and exam by a neurologist, I was diagnosed as having had a small stroke.
Most of you know that I have lupus and my symptoms vary but are usually like arthritis, but I sometimes have “brain fog”. And you may know that the past couple of months my brain has been “worse” and I have had several migraines that I thought were from MSG (and may have been), I also blacked out about a month ago, but was going to wait until after our concert before seeing a doctor 😉 - until I had a stroke 😉 

I am at SMH, being thoroughly checked -have had an MRI, will have a spinal tap, had an ultrasound of my heart, and several rounds of blood work. The neurologist is looking for the cause of the stroke and/or confirming that it is a lupus-related stroke (meaning that this lupus “flare up”, as an autoimmune disease, is attacking the DNA of my brain rather than the DNA of my joints or liver or other organ, as happens with lupus. (Though, now, I am being told that Lupus is not the right diagnosis -and more tests are needed)

Please pray for wisdom and answers and of course healing. Right now, I feel “fine” except for a low-grade migraine and a little “brain fog”.  We are surrounded by God’s presence and peace and appreciate your prayers! Thank you!
(AND, please plan to come out to the concert Thursday, I hope to be there too!)

Thank you for praying for me! I am getting back to normal, and the migraine is gone! (Left



with some residual headache). Waiting to see rheumatologist in the morning before being discharged from hospital (praying for early morning!)

“Although the precise pathophysiology responsible is not completely understood, several mechanisms have been hypothesised; in this context, inflammation and endothelial cell activation and damage play a crucial role.” On stroke risk of under 50yr old women with Lupus...basically inflammation and other factors can cause a stroke or something like a stroke in people with Lupus. More to learn, especially for prevention, but so far, I know that I am otherwise “healthy” and not at any cardiovascular risk for stroke, MRI was clear, but the CT contrast scan showed “something”... pray for wisdom and provision in moving forward with keeping inflammation down and helping brain and body. Pray for complete healing of “brain fog”, migraine, fatigue, “arthritis” and of lupus in general!

I believe that I AM healed and have complete healing because of the Cross - I also know that while GOD DOES HEAL TODAY, HE IS NOT OBLIGED TO HEAL ME...He does EVERYTHING for HIS GLORY & for my ultimate and eternal good! He loves me and He offers grace that is sufficient...I have faith for healing, and also faith that God’s will and goodness and power are bigger and are sovereign over even my faith (ie any “lack of faith” cannot stop GOD’s power or Will!). I am filled with peace and JOY and can worship Him both in the pain and in the relief of pain! 

I also know that while God receives glory in using my life, He does not NEED me. I cannot say that “it can’t be my time to die because I am not finished what God called me to” for example; He has planned the exact times and places for me and HE DELIGHTS in my delighting in and serving Him, but He does not need me. And, I am SO GLAD! It takes a lot of pressure off -especially when I was the one  “planning” our benefit concert. The concert doesn’t depend on me, because the work doesn’t depend on me, because GOD DOESN’T DEPEND ON ME. BUT, AS LONG AS I DO HAVE BREATH, I WILL STRIVE TO USE IT FOR HIS GLORY AND WILL DO THE TASK HE HAS GIVEN ME, with His strength and with the zeal of it being the task assigned to me “as if it depended on me” (while also learning to delegate, work as a team when God provides people, and trust that He will raise leaders up)... ( somehow that makes sense to me)

Therefore, I will run with ENDURANCE, the race that is set before me, FIXING MY EYES ON JESUS, the AUTHOR and PERFECTOR of faith, who for the JOY set before Him, endured the cross, despising it’s shame ... 

Please keep praying, come out to worship with us on Thursday if you are in B.C.! Take up the cause of the orphan! And, while you have breath, do what God has set before you, and do it with all of your strength as unto Him! Time is short! 



Reader’s Favourites

Brave Heart (April 2007)

Brave Heart April 11, 2007 thoughts on faith, being brave, being strong and living a life of love. (imagining a stage, with light shining down, and mew, standing behind the curtain and peeking out, too afraid to step out). I cannot step through the curtain and into the light. Of myself, I cannot. But I know whom I believe in and HE is able.  I know that He did not take me out this far only to leave me. He is faithful and His Word will not return to Him void. I have fallen, but He will never let me stay down. He has healed me and saved me and will continue to use me for His glory.  I will advance in faith and commit my life to the Lord and allow Him to change me and to make me more like Himself -even when it hurts. My identity is in Christ and not in my ministry. I will seek Him and his Kingdom. I will pursue intimacy and fight the good fight. I will not quit, I will finish the race.  The vision that God has given me is so huge, so amazing -and it is not m...
Read more

UPDATED: God's Faithfulness During Earthquakes and Natural Disasters

After feeling the whole house shake for a few minutes tonight, and checking the Salvadoran earthquake report, I am soberly reminded of the volatile world that we live in, and our need for God's grace. The earthquake, felt here, was a magnitude 8.0 earthquake, near Palmercito, Chiapas, Mexico. Thinking of our Mexican brothers and sisters, and remembering God's words in Romans 8:  For I consider [from the standpoint of faith] that the sufferings of the present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us  and  in us!    For [even the whole] creation [all nature] waits eagerly for the children of God to be revealed.   For the creation was subjected to frustration  and  futility, not willingly [because of some intentional fault on its part], but by the will of Him who subjected it, in hope     that the creation itself will also be freed from its bondage to decay [and gain entrance] into the glorio...
Read more

Remembering: November 2013 prayer and praise update about meeting with a gang leader in El Salvador

Reminiscing about God's faithfulness and found this old update - the meeting went well and we thank God for His faithfulness! We appreciate those of you who have been praying for us and sending encouragement and counsel our way... We have heard counsel to go ahead and also counsel to "flee" for sometime, we have also prayed and heard God thru His Word and thru the peace He has given to us and Samuel will be meeting with the gang leader in our community this Saturday...All of this peace that I feel has caused me to reflect, and I wanted to share with all of you, and especially with those close to us or who I know are praying for us: As I look back over the timeline of my life, of my husband's life, and our life together, I am so thankful for all that God has brought us through. He has shaped us and prepared us for where we are at right now and I know that He will continue to do so - for our good and for His glory! Some highlights (not including those t...
Read more

Is it dangerous to be a missionary in El Salvador? Our experience and a little history lesson

I noticed that this blog had been looked at a lot lately, and hadn’t realized that when I last changed my blog layout, it had affected the style and flow of this post. I think I have fixed it now...though this could be edited a lot more!  This is not exhaustive on the topics of travel, safety, gang violence, or missions in El Salvador, but is part of our story, and some of the history of the country that we serve in. El Salvador was voted as one of the top ten countries to visit, by Lonely Planet in 2010 and 2016. Is El Salvador safe for tourists? My short answer is, " Yes . It is (relatively) safe". It is generally safer than being a tourist in Mexico, and people travel there all the time . Tourists are (generally) not a target. As is the case even in LA, or even downtown Vancouver, there are certain places where you should not go, especially at night, but there are lots of places where you can explore, hike, walk, shop, eat, surf, zip-line, etc. and...
Read more

If my Prayers Drew Blood

I have been looking through an old journal (2007) and have felt convicted to live out more of my past persuasion, and to not become complacent nor stagnant. Here is a note that I wrote about [imagination and] prayer, which I need to re-arrange my life to pursue more: "When one has an imagination like mine, it is often best not to to recall certain things, [like news] spoken second-hand. Yet, some thoughts and especially prayers must be suffered through. I wonder what thoughts, what painful knowledge was so burdened on Jesus that while praying, He was caused to bleed. AT TIMES I CHOOSE TO EVEN REFRAIN FROM PRAYING, ONLY TO SAVE MYSELF SOME REALLY INSIGNIFICANT PAIN, AND AT WHAT COST? If my prayers were so fervent that they actually drew blood then perhaps they would be more effective! "
Read more

Father's Heart Coffee

Father’s Heart Coffee gives 100% profits to The Father’s Heart Village in El Salvador. With every sip, you empower us to sustainably care for the holistic needs of orphaned children.   Lets us know if YOU want to try our coffee! It is: -Shade grown -High Altitude (Apeneca) -Pacamara -Honey Process -Organic -Dark, Medium or Blonde Roast AND, for every pound of coffee sold, we can purchase 30 blocks for building a future of hope! We can ship coffee to you anywhere in North America! Order via our Canadian Website - donate page (more order options coming soon too!): www.fhfcanada.ca And, don't forget to order your copy of our book! Proceeds help our family to care for fatherless children in El Salvador & Uganda! Amazon Author Page
Read more

Hope for those in the "depths of despair"

I should be packing for a missions trip right now, but instead I am sitting down with a storied glass of wine and opera music. I am not accustomed to listening to opera, although I think I have enjoyed it most of my life. It can soothe the emotional side of the soul, but can also dangerously feed into certain emotions - I think (dependent on lyrics maybe too). But alas, I am inclined to listen to a few songs right now, before switching to my usual playlist -  as I reflect on recent news of those in my circle of friends who are mourning loss and questioning life, as someone they know has chosen to take their own life.  The decision to take one’s own life has affected my family very personally, as have other choices which inevitably lead to the ending of life. It makes me reflect on my own life, on the subject of depression, and of my own personal experience with depression. I have so many thoughts on this subject and have read numerous books on the topic, my favo...
Read more

Reflections on Rwanda from 2004

A City on A Hill Written by Charity Pilkey, January 2004, after visiting Rwanda ( the land of a thousand hills ) Teardrops falling on a thousand hills Somehow invisible Footprints marching on a thousand hills Somehow silent Bloodstains rolling on a thousand hills Somehow transparent Echoes crying on a thousand hills Somehow muffled Tears that fell, now fall from mourners Survivors march to make new prints Blood now dried, remains a vivid reminder New cries resound on a thousand hills So, if you are remaining Keep walking and learning Keep striving and yearning For His light to shine brilliantly From this land of a thousand hills.
Read more

Walking the path marked out - by Charity Okurut (early 2000's)

No matter what the circumstances, no matter the happenings, know this: He holds you in the palm of His hands and He has wonderful plans for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Along the way, don’t look down so long that you don’t see the road ahead. Don't keep your head up so high that you don’t see the path, and so trip and fall. Don’t look back so long that you forget where you are going, nor keep your eyes fixed so far ahead that you forget where you came from, and what made you who you are today. Memorize the faces of those travelling alongside you. Identify those who need your help and recognize those who need to help you.  And no matter what - never give up! ~ Charity Okurut nee Pilkey
Read more

Oh Uganda, may God Uphold Thee

(Warning, this is a "political post": but, we believe without a doubt that it is God who sets up and takes down kings, and ultimately they SERVE Him - God IS the KING over all kings and HE is on His Throne. Uganda needs PRAYER, above all. This is not a post against Museveni, but about democracy , and for the people!) Samuel wrote a beautiful post about his country, and the need for peaceful change, that I wanted to share. It is in response to the recent unrest and protests over the proposed Constitutional change, allowing for President Yoweri Museveni to continue as President, even in his old age. He has already changed the Constitution, to allow himself to "serve" as President for more than two terms. He has been in power since he was sworn in, after (during) a war on Obote, as the  new president. Museveni promised a return to democracy at his inauguration on January 29, 1986:  "The people of Africa, the people of Uganda, are entitled to a dem...
Read more